Am I angry?

I’m angry because I don't have time for all of the people in my life and they keep asking for my time.

This makes me feel angry because I feel like my self-worth is based on my ability to make everyone's life easier.

I am angry because I will end up pushing people away due to stress.

I am angry because I have had to realize that some friends are just bad ones and fewer friends are better.

I’m angry because I’m having dreams about him and dreams about you and you're often in the same dreams and you both leave.

I am angry because I have unresolved abandonment issues. So now I avoid making them better or worse by not allowing anyone to get too close.

I am angry because you're getting too close.

I’m angry because every time you say forever, it stumps me to say it back because I don’t trust forever.

I’m angry because I feel he’s why forever never worked out for me before. Even though it was a choice I made for self-preservation because forever with him would have been constant hurt for me.

I’m angry because I want you here all the time but I know I won’t want to fuck you every day if you are here all the time and I feel you wouldn’t want me if I wasn’t horny all the time.

I’m angry because I can’t find the words to say this in person.

I’m angry because I can’t open up to people in a productive way, and if I do, they don’t hear me anyway.

I’m angry because I feel I need to be so meticulous with my emotions.

I'm angry because my family doesn't check in.

I am angry because I had to cut out most of my family because they treated me badly.

I’m angry because I feel so alone whenever you go away.

I’m angry because I don’t know what the future looks like.

I’m angry because I can’t always keep my feelings in a perfect little box 24/7... each in its category where I can analyze it and put it back when I choose.

I’m angry because when one comes out by accident… they all bubble over.

I am angry because I am not perfect and that things don't always fit into perfect little boxes where everything makes sense.

I'm angry because I have felt in the first place.

But I’m not actually angry about any of that. I’m just scared. Feeling scared makes me feel like I am drowning.